I was talking to an acquaintance today about relationships – her daughter has moved away from home to start college, she ended her relationship with her high school boyfriend, and she is starting to date on the new campus. Her mom was telling me about her daughter’s first date: the young man picked her up and took her to the OG (Olive Garden, baby) for dinner, they went to Sonic to taste some magical milkshake combination afterwards, stopped for candy after discussing which brand of gummi bears was the best (Haribo FTW), and went for a walk in the park before he delivered her back to her dorm with a kiss goodnight. She called her mom afterwards to gush about how sweet and kind he was, how spoiled she felt, and how she couldn’t get over what a great time she’d had. Her mother replied that this is what dating was supposed to be like, that when a guy liked you he would make the effort. I was really touched by this story because a) I like this girl a whole lot and wish her nothing but happy times, and b) I’m glad that she is learning this lesson at the ripe ol’ age of 18, instead of still trying to figure this one out at my age.
For whatever reason, so many of us accept sub-par treatment from those around us. We tell ourselves things like, “It’ll get better”, or “He doesn’t mean to be rude”, but…you know what? If he didn’t mean to be rude, then he wouldn’t. Maya Angelou said that when someone shows you who they are, you should believe them the first time — and I really believe that is true. If people want to do better, then they will – no questions asked, and NO excuses. I love that my friend’s daughter is learning how it feels to be treated well – hopefully she will accept nothing less for the rest of her days.
This article is adorable – give it a look:
7 Undeniable, No-Doubt-About-It Signs He Loves You, Girl
These are undeniable.
It can be hard to know if the guy you’re with loves you or loves you not. From my own experience, a few things make it difficult to know if he loves you.
So how can you know if the guy you’re with truly loves you? If your guy exhibits these seven signs, he most likely loves you.
1. He treats you well and with respect.
A guy who loves you is considerate of your feelings, needs and desires. He makes them as important as his desires and needs. He is concerned with your well-being and will do things to make your life better, sometimes going out of his way to do so. Not only does he treat you well, he is also good to your family and friends.
2. He’s generous with his time.
He doesn’t let too much time go by without seeing you. When he is available, he wants to be with you and chooses to spend his time with you. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, he is spending time with you whenever your schedules allow. And you are together during major holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
3. He makes you a priority.
You are at the forefront of his mind and he maintains contact in between the times you see each other. He considers you when making decisions and is considerate about doing things you want to do. When speaking, he uses “we” instead of “I” and includes you in his future plans.
4. He cares for you.
A guy who loves you is genuinely happy for you when good things happen to you. He is compassionate when you’re going through challenges. This guy is there for you in the good and not-so-good times. He thinks about you and surprises you with tokens of affection outside of your birthday and holidays. He will also challenge you by calling you out on stuff to help you become a better person.
5. He wants people to know about you.
He is affectionate with you in public by holding your hand, putting his arm around you and/or hugging you. He is proud to be with you and has introduced you to his family and friends. He brings you to family functions and get-togethers with friends, and takes you to company events.
6. He treats your relationship with integrity.
He is trustworthy and loyal to you and your relationship. He is upfront with you about his past girlfriends and skeletons in his closet. He does what he says and will let you know if he’s not able to. When issues come up, he is willing to work through them. Although he isn’t perfect, he tries to be a better man.
7. He wants the absolute best for you.
A guy who loves you encourages you to do things you love, even if it means doing these things without him. He wants you to spend time with family and friends. He encourages you to find and live your passions, knowing that if you are happy and engaged with life, you’ll be happy and engaged in your relationship with him.
Don’t believe a man’s “I love you” if his behaviors and actions aren’t backing up his words. You’ll know if you’re in this situation because you will feel uncertain and question his love for you. Pay attention to this feeling because your intuition is telling you something isn’t right.
Place less weight on his words and more weight on his behaviors and actions. A man’s behaviors and actions are more revealing and show if he loves you or not. It’s easier for a man to say “I love you” because that’s what you want to hear. When a man loves you, you won’t need to hear the words because you will just know.
I love this, because it’s absolutely the truth – we all deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, we ought to be a priority, and we ought to be made to feel like we matter. While grand gestures are nice, they aren’t necessary – it’s the simple things that really matter, don’t you think? 🙂