I recently judged a book by its cover – I’m so disappointed in myself. I attended a seminar and took one look at the keynote speaker and figured I had his number based upon what he looked like: salt and pepper beard, tweed jacket, mustard yellow shirt, bow tie, mostly grey hair that was kind of fluffy…he reeked of academia, the kind that came from money and generations who summered on Cape Cod. I expected him to open his mouth and let loose with a string of $100 words delivered in the accent of the northeastern United States, maybe Upper East Side Manhattan. Boy, was I ever wrong.
Once the gentleman started talking, I was completely blown away. Turns out he grew up in Texas, in one of the shittiest home situations you could possibly imagine. At the age of 12, he was arrested for drug possession, and his mother ended up signing away her parental rights, as she couldn’t seem to do a thing with him. He ended up moving to Katy, Texas, where he finished out his school years relatively peacefully, while living with a foster family. After graduation, he moved to San Antonio, found his way back to drugs, and was living in a shithole apartment with an acquaintance while he worked as a dishwasher at a restaurant. He was suffering from major depression, and his life was pretty much on track to repeat the cycle of poverty and hardship that he had been born in to…and then he found two letters from his high school teachers that completely changed his life. Their words encouraged him so much that he decided to register for one college class at UTSA – which he passed. He took another one – passed again. This kept going for years, until he had a Bachelor’s degree. From there, the ball was rolling and his past life was firmly behind him. He went on to earn multiple degrees, did his internship at Brown (Brown!), and has had one success after another. He let all of us know that it wasn’t education that changed his life – it was the actions of influential educators. He wrote a book about the importance of the people who stand in front of our classrooms every day, and I can’t wait to read it (it arrived in yesterday’s mail)…I believe there’s going to be some major life-changing stuff in there. Once he got more comfortable the group, the tweed jacket came off and the mustard yellow sleeves were rolled up…revealing a forearm full of tattoos. Shame on me, of all people, for judging a book by its cover – this man was no regular academic…he walked the walk big time.
An idea that he shared during his talk with us has kept me thinking for over a week: we should not go to work to be validated. Instead, we need to be right with the world and ourselves before we go there – that way, all we will do whilst working is give, give, give…we have no reason to take anything back, as we are already full of everything we need. I can’t stop thinking about this concept, as I truly believe that I have been doing it wrong all this time. I have taken great comfort in the praise that I have received in the work place over the years – and, more than once, I have intentionally done things because I knew that I would receive recognition for them…a fact that feels quite gross to admit when I read it over again. I am stuck on the idea of being ‘right with yourself’ – what does that mean to you?
I Googled it (because of course I did), and came across this article:
Law of Attraction Success Series – Get Right With Yourself
What’s the single most powerful thing you can do to manifest what you want?
Get right with yourself.
Meaning, get on board with your divine nature. Recognize your worthiness, see your perfection, love yourself unconditionally.
Preferably in this moment – not after X, Y or Z changes. Get in the habit of approving of yourself as is, right now.
Feeling less than fab about yourself is a good thing to change in order to experience strong vibrational alignment.
Because the Universe can only be as good to you as you are to yourself.
I can tell you from personal experience that self-love isn’t the easiest thing to practice, especially in a culture where self-loathing is pandemic. But I strongly believe it’s the most rewarding practice, not just for our manifesting success, but also for our life enjoyment and fulfillment.
So where does one begin?
Start noticing what IS, rather than what we wish to be so.
LiYana says “we spend all our time wishing things were different, pondering why they are not different, trying to make them different, all in order to conform to our ideas of how things should go. It is a uniquely human trait to spend so much time ignoring what IS, and creating elaborate fantasies where things are different.” In short, get present.
Next after noticing what IS, is to notice what is already good.
I couldn’t say it better than LiYana does: “Our lives and selves are rich, full, convenient and blessed, if we only stop to notice and put our attention there. Something magical happens when we find something to approve of, the way things ARE, right now, right here. We ‘get right’ with reality; we get ‘right’ with ourselves.”
A woman who approves of herself is “right” with herself, the way she is, in reality, right here and right now. She doesn’t wait to start approving of herself for the fantastical time in the indeterminate future when she will be perfect. She does it now. Today. Against the tide. Again and again and again. She doesn’t wait for the circumstances of her life to line up just right, she celebrates what IS, NOW.
That, I believe, is the #1 law of attraction success secret. Get right with yourself.
dropping habits of self-loathing
living in your integrity (whatever that means for you)
honoring what your heart and soul call for
treating yourself the way you treat loved ones
recognizing your brilliant, lovable, beautiful self
When you live like that that, Universe can’t help but shower you with more good stuff. Although that way of living is reward enough in itself.
Hmm. Interesting, right? How do you do it, though? How do you stop hating on yourself? Is the trick to change the phrases that play over and over in your head as soon as the negative voices start? What about honoring what your heart and soul call for? Does that mean doing the things that you want and living the way that you choose? I hope it does, because that thought makes me so happy. 🙂 I’m especially interested in the idea of treating myself the way that I treat those that I care for – I think that I’m fairly kind to those around me (I hope that I am), but I know that I never treat myself as well as others. I need to be better about treating myself to the little things, having some fun that’s just for me instead of working working working all of the time. Perhaps this will help me to get right with myself, which will in turn help me to get right with everyone else around me. And then? Look out – I’ve got lots to give! 🙂