Wise Up

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Have you been watching HBO’s “Girls” this season? I have (of course), and I really liked the direction the show has taken this year – and last night’s season finale was an absolute gem. I don’t want to ruin your day with spoilers, but I have to point out a few highlights for me: three cheers for Hannah for not saying YES to a reconciliation with Adam (although I loved them together and wish they could have somehow found their way back to each other)…her ability to say no to him when he says he wants her back was so strong, so powerful – I doubt I could have done that. Adam has always been a magical, powerful force in Hannah’s life, and for her to realize that he was not good for her, and that them being together was destructive….well, that was just awesome. Three cheers for Hannah – our little girl is growing up. 🙂

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I have always been a huge fan of the character of Ray – I think that he might just be the one of the realest characters on television today. Over the years, he has made some speeches that have pretty much brought me to my knees with their raw emotion (seriously – whoever is writing the lines that Ray speaks is my friggin’ hero and I want to share a pizza with them and talk over beer), and last night was no exception. He ripped the Jackass Desi a new one, letting him know that he wasn’t good enough to be with Marnie (so.true)…and he said this: “I also know that you absolutely do not deserve her. Even remotely….She is a beautiful, fully-formed woman, dazzling in her complexity, maddening in her mystery. And you underestimate her, every fucking day.” Isn’t that just brilliant?? I was so blown away by that speech that he made, so full of love and admiration, that I paused the TV, hit rewind, and kept watching it over and over again…just to be sure that the full power of those words seeped into my soul. Amazing. Who doesn’t want to be described that way??! I sure as hell do! Love Ray! 🙂

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The final thing that I loved most from last night’s episode was the stuff involving Shoshanna – that girl is everything that I imagine I was when I was her age…I just hid my eccentricities a whole lot better than she does. Her wide-eyed optimism is a standout for me on that show, and I loved the scene between she and Colin Quinn, when she is sharing that she’d been offered a job in Tokyo, but wasn’t sure about leaving the new guy she was dating to take the position. Colin Quinn started ranting about reading the most excellent Sheryl Sandberg book ‘Lean In’, and told her, “Grab a seat at the table and lean the fuck in. And if this guy’s worth his salt, he’ll be waiting for you.” Mind. Blown. What I wouldn’t give to have someone have cared enough about me to have given me that advice at various points in my life, when I have made eggregiously stupid decisions based upon the men that I thought were going to be there for me – and they weren’t. And I let opportunities go. Like an idiot. Grr. Oh well….live and learn, eh? 🙂

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I know that I am not the target demographic of this show (by about 15 years or so), but I love it with all my heart and think the wisdom of the writing is mind-blowing, regardless of what age you are. Take this line of Hannah’s, for example:

So am I, Hannah...so am I.
So am I, Hannah…so am I.

Isn’t that pretty much what we all are doing? It’s funny….I will be 41 years old in a couple of weeks, and I still feel as if I’m waiting to grow up. There are days when I look around me and see this beautiful life that I’ve crafted for myself, one that is full of responsibilities, events, a maddeningly busy calendar, tasks to be done, places to go…and I wonder how it is that I managed to fall smack into the middle of someone else’s existence, because all of this grown-up stuff can’t possibly belong to me. But it does. I don’t know how it happened. I think I will always feel like Hannah, working hard to try to become who I am. I wonder when I will finally wake up and realize that I’ve been me all along?

xxx

 

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