Only The Good Die Young

I received some rotten news this evening – a dear friend from home has passed away. This news absolutely knocked the wind out of me, and has left me feeling very, very sad… I want to tell you about my friend, if you don’t mind.


Keith and I went to Kindergarten together – he was the cutest boy in the class. By a mile. All of us girls spent every recess chasing him around the playground, hoping we’d be able to catch him and smother him with kisses. Damn Lisa H was one of the fastest runners in the class and tended to get most of the kisses….the rest of us were bummed. He was such a doll. He was also super-duper smart, which was my favorite part about him. Throughout our elementary school time together, we would pretend to compete academically in school, but our competitions were pretty lame. I wished him nothing but the best, and I believe he always wanted the same for me. That’s an awesome friend. 🙂

His sense of humor was LEGENDARY – while one of the smartest, most brilliant people I have ever known, he also had one of the very grossest vocabularies and senses of humor ever. I loved it! This humor followed him in his adult years – a few years ago on his birthday, we exchanged emails and I asked him what he had planned…his response was that he was going to stay home, masturbate all day, watch porn, and eat Cheetos – and he hoped that nothing turned orange. Hahahaha! 🙂 Keith knew everything there was to know about wrestling, and did a Macho Man Randy Savage impresonation that was SO spot on that it was almost creepy. He loved to laugh, knew a TON about hockey and football, and pretty much any other topic you could possibly come up with. His was truly a beautiful, though thoroughly warped in the best possible way, mind. 🙂

While we were in high school, we were in the band together – he played saxophone, and I played whatever instrument was needed that particular year (I played flute, trumpet, percussion, and a bit of saxophone over the years). We spent about a zillion hours on the bus to band performances together, discussing every single thing under the sun…including what we wanted to be when we grew up. I told him that I was planning to go in to Education (which I did); at that time, he wanted to become a doctor (a dream he ended up having to abandon following a serious hand injury). I asked what specialization he was interested in – and, of course, he responded Gynecology….he had to see the goods somehow! 😉

On May 18, 1996, we sat together at my BFFs wedding – as the evening wore on and we got more intoxicated, we cooked up a plan: if we weren’t married to other people by the time we were 25, we would marry each other. We sealed the deal with an exchange of rings (those little silver metal rings that went around the wedding program scrolls) – I still have mine in a box upstairs. As we neared 25, we changed the age to 30….then 35…. then 40 – it got to be a running joke. However, we always referred to the situation as ‘the Back Up Plan B’ , and we talked about it as recently as a couple of years ago, still laughing about our plan and how hilarious it would be to execute: he who loved wrestling and all things boy trying to coexist with me, the ultimate in girlie stuff. It was a recipe for disaster! 🙂

The last message I received from him read like this:

Hey – it’s Keith and Donny, we are drinking in Lundar. Why aren’t you drinking beer with us in Lundar? We are in some kind of temporal vortex where nothing changes. Don’t you want to be in 1992 as well? If we drink long enough we can get breakfast at Sportsman’s. Oh wait, they burned everything, including the building. When are you going to visit so we can dust off the Love Shack? Why has our age group not had a reunion? I have to pee and smoke so Donny can type for awhile.

Now it is me typing can you tell the differance. I was at someone’s little guys b-day today and he got a little corvette that he can drive around. It was so funny to watch. Then I started to think that one day I really have to think about the fact that I will have to raise a kid here knowing about all the things that can be done in this little berg. Any who Keith is back from his peesmoke, its a medical conditon that he is under treatment for now.

Ahh, nicotine addiction and bladder release, an orgasmic combination. Anyhow, I hope this has given you enough nostalgic moments to think of coming home and giving us a hug. Smell ya later.


Awesome, eh? I know. These are the words of people who probably know me better than I know myself…and they still love me anyway. There is something so beautiful and so comforting about this – and it makes my heart absolutely ache for my home town, full of the very best people you could ever hope to meet. What I wouldn’t give to be there now. For a small town, we’ve lost far too many people from our little group…and I feel like we are just too young to be having this happen. These friends of mine from home are the ones that I want to be surrounded by when I’m 80 years old and recreating the Golden Girls….I need them to stay around.

Thanks for listening to me talk about Keith – I will never find the words to explain what a lifetime of friendship with this unique, kind, intelligent, FUNNY,  beautiful spirit was like…but please trust me, it was a gift from above. To his family – I am  beyond sorry for your loss. You are the people who raised and nurtured this magical soul – and what a job you have done. He loved you all so much. And, in words that only he could get away with saying (his last name was Lavallee)….. You’ve never been loved until you’ve been Lavved. 🙂


Rest in peace, my friend – you will always be my first choice for my plan B. I lav you. Smell ya later.






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