I got to do something really awesome today – in the midst of one of the busiest, craziest, most chaotic days (weeks/months) ever, I stopped what I was doing, made my way to the Choir room, and had a beautiful half hour. The Choir teacher asks me to help out when they have French songs, since I used to be a French teacher, as well as a Music teacher. This year’s song is ‘Dirait-On’ – do you know it? I’d never heard it before today, and I can’t even tell you how happy I am that I did…it’s gorgeous. We didn’t have a choir in our school growing up, not that I would have been brave enough to be in it if we had – it’s only in recent years that I’ve tossed all concern out the window and decided to sing whenever and wherever I fancy. NOTE: A lot of this new found musical freedom came about because of alcohol and karaoke. No judgment. Anyway – here’s a link to ‘Dirait On’…enjoy! 🙂
What’d you think? Magical, eh? I know – love. 🙂 When I sat in the Choir room today, listening to our students sing this beautiful song, I got really overwhelmed by the beauty of their voices, the talent all around me, and the magic of the moment…before I knew it, my Leaky-Eye Disorder (LED) had returned with a vengeance, and I had to stare at the ceiling and blink furiously to prevent myself from openly weeping in front of 50 teenagers. It was so moving. I’m getting misty-eyed at the memory. The students were so good, and so talented, and trying so hard…they were in their zone, no doubt about it. They weren’t bothered that the VP of their school was standing there watching (and getting weepy) – and that moved me as well. I’ve wasted so bloody much time over the years feeling self-conscious…which is stupid. And a waste of time. Why feel self-conscious? Why think someone else is staring at us? So what if they are? It’s probably because we’re so damn cute!! 😉 I’m a funny duck – I’ve never had a problem standing in front of crowds, I’ve never known a second of stage fright, yet I will panic about walking down a crowded hallway in case I wipe out and end up with my dress over my head and my arse hanging out. Dumb, eh? I hate that I waste time thinking of such stupid things. Life’s too short.
What would you do if nobody was watching and you didn’t have to worry about looking stupid? I have considered this question a lot and I’ve been working on my list. I would (in no particular order) take dance lessons and FINALLY learn to dance, order dessert first in a restaurant because – duh, dessert trumps salad every day, I’d wear inappropriately short dresses with leggings every day and not give a whooping funt what anyone thought, I’d write all of my work documents in pink pen and decorate the pages with stickers, I would ignore the people who irritate me instead of trying all the time to be polite, I would take up painting for realz and do it all the time – even if my art work is kinda ugly, I would go back to playing golf more and not be concerned that I suck at it, I would travel more, and I would laugh more of those real belly laughs where I usually end up snorting a time or two. I would stop being polite to the jackasses I meet in a day (there’s kind of a lot of them) – and while I would not be rude, I’d just ignore them. I wouldn’t feel compelled to be chatty and polite. I would say what I really think at all times, but do it in such a way so as not to hurt anyone…and I would find a way to build more ‘me’ time into my schedule. I would insist on much, much more time with my Wee One, and I would work out ways to do more writing. Speaking of that, I’d quit sugar-coating the things I say because I’m so afraid of being offensive…I’d just let it all hang out! Yaa!!! 🙂 It’s kind of sad, really…I have all these ideas, but I only want to do them if nobody’s watching! Stupid, eh? Who cares??? 🙂
The other morning, our weather took a rather dramatic turn, the wind picked up and the temperature dropped A LOT. I, of course, didn’t know this as I got into my car in the garage and didn’t go outside until I got to school. I parked, hopped out of the car, started grabbing all of my stuff and was walking towards the building when I noticed how chilly it was…and then the wind started howling, and my dress blew up over my head. As usual. I figure I’m good for a wind/dress/ass situation at least twice a week (at least)…I do what I can, but…it is what it is. I called the Wee One shortly after, to wish her a good day – and I told her to dress warm because of the wind and the drop in temperature. I then told her the story about the wind and my bum – her response was this: “Are you wearing pretty panties? Of course you are ’cause you’re my mama and my mama always wears pretty panties!” I confirmed that yes, I had brought my A game in the knickers department that day (can I get a woot! woot! for ruffles??!), to which she replied, “Then who cares? Not us!!” I laughed, because she’s so damn cute, but…kid does have a point – shit happens, life happens…who cares??! What is the point in sweating the small stuff? There are so many crappy things to fret and worry about in life…we really ought to just chill out about some of the smaller things. So you slip and fall in front of 1500 kids in a cafeteria and land on your face? So what???! The wind blows your skirt up and the world sees your tights and a peek of your excellent ruffled panties? Who cares???! Let’s worry about things that matter – the remnants of the financial crisis in this country and how it’ll affect our retirement, the education situation and how we will ever catch up to our contemporaries around the world, health care for everybody…how those of us voting in Texas can make damn sure that the super-awesome Wendy Davis becomes the next governor of our fair state, and help her give some rights back to us Texan women. These are the kinds of things that we ought to be fretting about…not whether or not we look stoopid in front of the world around us. Is the world going to stop if we show our arse and look mildly foolish? Probably not…I think we’ll be okay. 🙂