As I wrote about previously, the Wee One and I took a mini-vacation this weekend. We saw some sights, went out a bit – but mostly just enjoyed our time together. I found the time we spent to be so happy and fun and easy…and it got me to thinking (of course – I’m always thinking)…I marvel at how easy some people are to get along with, do you know what I mean? There are some folks that I’ve known forever but I still feel uncomfortable in their presence – while there are others that I’ve only known a short time yet every second spent with them is happy and easy and I never want it to end…why is that? What is it that draws us so magnetically to some people?
I did some research on this one, and found a great article – the writer cited these things as being critical to having chemistry with someone: down-to-earth, sincere people; people who are comfortable with themselves and their place in the world; being understanding, tolerant, and accepting; having similarities and some common ground; a feeling of safety, comfort, and being willing to disclose information about ourselves; a sexual attraction (duh) and similar attitudes towards sex; and the personality traits of openness, conscientiousness, and agreeability. These make really good sense, don’t they? I’m thinking of those people that I have felt chemistry with (both on a friendship level and a romantic level – hubba hubba), and these people have always been really down-to-earth, real people who know who they are and aren’t afraid to show it; they are generally pretty tolerant and willing to accept me, as bonkers as I am; they are open, thoughtful and willing to talk about their lives with me (because I’m a question asker – oh, lordy am I a question asker)…and they are folks that I find highly bonk-able. 🙂 (that’s a technical phrase there) One thing that I find interesting is that the researcher mentioned the importance of similarities – which makes sense to me, sort of. I have felt insane amounts of chemistry (romantic and friendship) with people who appear on the surface to be so different from me, but once you get past things like outwards appearance and surface-y stuff, we are pretty darn alike in what we think and what we believe. I LOVE that, and think it is so bloody cool -it’s kind of an ‘opposites attract’ thing, except that the opposites aren’t really opposites after all! Do you follow me??! 🙂
The researcher mentioned that a number of people out there don’t experience chemistry – and I feel bloody sad for them. They figured that it passed them by because they just didn’t have the personality for it (they were shy), they lacked the ability to trust others and were somewhat closed off, and they didn’t get out much and have opportunities to find other people, especially those with similar interests. I can understand that way of thinking but it makes me feel sad for them nonetheless. Having a connection with someone, feeling sparkles and fairies flying in your tummy at the very thought of them is one of the most magical experiences you can ever have in life, and I want that for everyone…don’t you? 🙂