Tell Me Something Good

I have this annoying habit (well, it’s one of about 1532 annoying habits) of asking people to tell me something good – whenever I am talking to someone on the phone, I inevitably ask them (usually more than once) to tell me the best thing about their day, or share with me something that made them happy or smile. Those who know me well just go with it, and understand that this one seemingly-random question delights me like nobody’s business – but, as new people first get to know me, they think I’m a weirdo that’s depriving a village somewhere of its idiot. I don’t blame them for that assessment – it is kind of a weird question, but let me explain….there’s a method to my madness. 😉

Oftentimes, when people get to talking on the phone, they inevitably start ranting about the things that pissed them off in their day – it’s understandable, and I know that I’ve done it a time or two (million) in my day. However, frequently we get stuck in that rut and keep obsessing about the things that weren’t great about our day, instead of focusing on the magnificent things that happened and celebrating the hell out of those. That doesn’t seem right, does it? Shouldn’t we gloss over the shit and minutiae and spend our time jumping up and down with glee over the good stuff? Yep, I think so, too. 🙂

smiley face

In March, the Lifehacker website posted a piece entitled ” Want To Be Happier? Stop Doing These 10 Things Right Now!” – here’s the things that made their list: Blaming, Impressing, Clinging, Controlling, Criticizing, Interrupting, Whining, Preaching, Dwelling and Fearing…and, if you think about it, that list pretty much covers it, don’t you think? Instead of blaming somebody else for all of your problems, take responsibility for your part in things and MOVE THE HELL ON!!!! Quit trying to impress those around you, because – and knowing this, remembering it, and believing it with all your heart is the key to happiness – WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Isn’t that just the most freeing thought? I really love it, and I try to live it as much as I possibly can. Who gives a whooping funt what others think of you? Who the hell are they in this world??! What matters is what YOU think – as for the rest of them? Screw’em! Who cares??! Worry about impressing yourself, and being your very best self. Think of the confidence that you had when you were a small child and you figured that you were the absolute shit and that nobody could come close to you in sheer awesomeness – channel that, and work on bringing it back. 🙂

Clinging is a tough one – I’ve been known to be a clingy dipshit more than once in my life, and I cringe every time I think about it (or still do it). Neither you nor I need to be clingy, believe me. If people want to be around us, then that’s just great and they are lucky to share in our fabulousness. If they don’t want to be around us, then that’s sad and too bad…but it’ll suck a hell of a lot more for them than it will for us. Remember that, okay friends? I’m going to try to get more on board with this one, too. 🙂

HJacksonBrown_Quote_via_Seventeenth_and_Irving
PREACH!!!

Controlling is one of the biggies from that list – I don’t like controlling people in the least (I wish the fool well who tries to control me – that shit never turns out well for anybody), and I loathe the idea of being controlling. I don’t think that I am, actually, because of my acute awareness of just how friggin’ gross that quality is. Ickity-ick-ick-ick. Criticizing isn’t a whole lot better – but, you know what? We all do it. I have been critical of people throughout my life, as I’m sure that you have – but, I can honestly say that I am getting SO much better with this one. The way to kick the critical habit is to really feel your words, and put yourself in the other person’s shoes – think of how crappy you feel when someone is critical of you. Do you like it? Hell no, right? Then why do that to someone else? I have had people attempt to deliver ‘constructive criticism’ to me over the years about so many things – my appearance, my work, everything…and, you know what? Their criticism says far more about them and the shallow bastards that they are than it does about me. To hell with that. Be thoughtful with your words, be kind, and be considerate – your words can be your weapons….let’s all remember that, okay? 🙂

I've always feared that this was my fate...I hope not! ;)
I’ve always feared that this was my fate…I hope not! 😉

Interrupting others is just plain rude, don’t you think? I hate rudeness, and there’s really no excuse for it. You were born with one mouth and two ears – listen twice as often as you talk…it’s as simple as that. 🙂 Whining is no picnic, either…who wants to be around a whiner? Not me! I have been known (many times) to actually hand a straw to people whose whining is over the top, and simply tell them to ‘suck it up, Buttercup’. The straw is a great way to soften the blow of the words and make them smile a bit, but it’s still a powerful message. Yes life is rough, yes we’ve all got our hardships to deal with, and yes things absolutely suck from time to time, but…what good is whining going to do? It won’t!!!! We need to accentuate the positive, and do something to make things better – whining does absolutely bugger all but bring everybody else down…and who wants that??!

no-whining

I don’t deal well with those that preach at me – do you? Personally, I want to offer them a tall glass of fuck off and hope that they will go very far away so that I don’t have to listen to their sanctimonious asses any longer! We should never presume that we have all the answers and that everyone is going to want to hear what we have to say – instead, let’s all try offering some input (if its appropriate or we are asked), and just leave it at that. How somebody else chooses to live their life is not your concern friends…so quit yo’preaching! 😉  Dwelling is next on the list, and I’m terribly guilty of this one – I will find something that is bothering me, and I will obsess and fret (’cause I’m a world-class fretter!) and dwell like you’ve never seen. I hate that about myself, and I’m actively working on getting over this one. Dwelling isn’t going to change things – but action will. Let’s all together try to do what we can to not dwell (especially on the things that we cannot change)…let’s focus on the happy, friends. 🙂

The final one is fearing…and that is a toughie. This world is bloody scary, don’t you think? Around every corner there seems to lurk some danger or other, so a healthy dose of fear is kind of needed to keep us safe. However, we can’t fear every single thing and choice in our lives, or we would never get around to the business of living. We need to be brave, face our fears, accept the challenges that are thrown at us, conquer their asses and make fear our bitch! The possible rewards that await our bravery are tremendous…who knows – you just might get all the things you’ve ever dreamed of. 🙂 When I think back on the things that I’ve been afraid of, and then I look at how I conquered those fears and came out the other side a better girl – well, hell….it doesn’t get any better than that. 🙂

So – the article from Lifehacker suggested that we stop doing these ten things and we will be much happier, which would be great. I know that I can’t stop doing all ten all the time, but dammit, I can sure try, can’t I??! I want to be happier, don’t you? And, I’m willing to put in the work to give it a go. Care to join me? 🙂

xxx

 

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