A Song For The Lovers

While driving this morning, the most interesting medley of songs came on the radio…I don’t know if it was the rain that was gently falling, something hormonal, or my own pathetic-ness, but before I knew what hit me, the tears were pouring down my cheeks and I damn near had to pull over on the side of 410 to get myself together. What was this dirge-like trip to the hit parade that literally moved me to tears, you ask? I’ll share it with you – consider it a warning, though: DO NOT listen to these songs one after the other, or you too may find yourself weeping as big trucks blow past you and wonder why you’re driving so slowly on the freeway. (NOTE TO THE TRUCK DRIVERS: It was because I couldn’t quite see where I was going and I was trying not to cause an accident. You’re welcome.)

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First up was Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” – I friggin’ LOVE this song…I think it perfectly describes that thing that most of us can’t really describe – LOVE. You know, that feeling that happens when you just find your person – after looking for them for so long, wanting so badly to give up but feeling, sensing, KNOWING that they were still out there somewhere. “I have died everyday waiting for you / Darling don’t be afraid I have loved youFor a thousand years / I’ll love you for a thousand more”     🙂  

The real sad part about “A Thousand Years” though – finding that person, and having to accept that they aren’t yours to have. Now that just sucks. 😦 (Yes, Liam Neeson, I’m talking to you)

 

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Next on the world’s saddest and most touching playlist was Bruno Mars with “When I Was Your Man” – and I totally know why this one got me. First off, it’s a gorgeous song – and Bruno’s voice is just it. Plain and simple. The second reason, though, was because I have often wondered if people (okay, men) who’ve done me wrong over the years ever realize what they had and lost, or if they are all aboard on the ‘eh, whatever’ train. I know that I’ve made many, many mistakes over the years – and I’ve freely admitted them. In many cases, I have even contacted people from my past to apologize for my stupidity, my immaturity, my lack of common sense, and my foolishness….but you can’t go back, can you? Nor should we want to – I guess the past is the past for a reason, but….still. I wonder if anyone ever thinks these lines of me:

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she’s dancing with another man.

Although it hurts I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I’m probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know
I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours when he has the chance
Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!

Doesn’t that song just rip your heart out? Yeah, I know. Me, too. 😦

 

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The next song will probably surprise you somewhat – Ne-Yo’s “Let Me Love You” – yes, I know….not exactly a tear-jerker, but when you’re already feeling delicate and kicked around by the first two songs, this one can cut pretty deeply. Think on this for a moment:

Much as you blame yourself, you can’t be blamed for the way you feel
Had no example of a love, that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had
Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that

Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
And all your trouble
Don’t be afraid, girl let me help
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
A heart of numbness, gets brought to life
I’ll take you there

 

This is me, dammit!! It’s no wonder I’ve been such a hot mess in my personal life over the years – I had no example to follow!! It’s not my fault!! (okay, so most of it is, but…help a sistah out, would you??!) I’m just kidding (sort of) – all of my screw ups are totally my fault, but…perhaps we can offer up this song as Exhibit A and maybe accept that there are reasons (but not excuses, I hasten to point out) for the way that I am??! It’s a beautiful thing when somebody does come along (like the person described in “A Thousand Years”) who sees past all of the things that may be wrong with you, and only sees what is right, and wants to love you anyway, don’t you think? If only they wore name tags, so that you’d be sure to recognize them when they came. If they could also have a buzzer like the one that goes off on your dryer when your laundry is done to get your attention, well, that’d be great, too. 🙂

So – there’s today’s trifecta of tearjerkers…I don’t know which programming genius at Sirius Satellite Radio is responsible for this morning’s tears, but…I’m thinking of sticking with talk radio when  I go out later. All of this boo-hooing does shitty things to my eye makeup. 😉

xxx

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