Good morning, friends! 🙂 It is hella windy here in San Antonio again today, and my ears are ridiculous, the wind makes them hurt so much! Icky!!! I hope it passes soon…I hate feeling off balance and out of whack! 😦
Yesterday, my Wee One came home from school kinda bummed out because some of her ‘so-called’ friends were teasing her…she had taken her American Girl doll to school yesterday for Show and Tell, and they bugged her for bringing her dollie, for liking dollies, they said Marie-Grace (the doll) was creepy…just stupid shit. I told her to forget them, who cared what they thought, etc etc etc…but her little feelings were hurt, so that had to be dealt with. I know that there will be a MILLION sad times between now and her high school graduation, and that dealing with all of the stupid things that kids do to each other (girls especially) is going to make me nuts – I want to find a way to empower her to not give a whooping funt what the idiots of the world have to say, and I want her to just be herself…because that is more than good enough. Some days, when she tells me that so-and-so was teasing her, but she told them to ‘Pin a rose on their nose’ and walked away – my heart bursts with pride, happy that she is not letting the haters get her down. Other days, though, when she is sobbing because somebody that she thought was her friend was mean to her – I don’t take that too well. It’s probably a good thing she and I aren’t at the same school, as I can just imagine what an overbearing pain in the ass I would probably be…but I mean well. 🙂 I want her to embrace the idea presented in this picture – I do think it’s hilarious:
It is really hard to not take what other people do and say towards you to heart, don’t you think? It’s one of those things that is a constant struggle for me. On the one hand, I am WAY too damn sensitive – my little feelings can get hurt so easily, it’s bloody ridiculous. You would think that after enduring nearly 39 years of people making fun of me (apparently I’m a super-easy target) I would have thicker skin and be better at ignoring haters, but…I still get sad. I’ve had some real struggles with a woman who works in my office (at night she moonlights as a guard at the gates of hell, I think – she’s a straight up witch) – she is snotty, sarcastic and mean to me, she is ignorant to the students that I have dealings with (to the point where their parents call me to bitch and complain about her), I’ve made the necessary complaints…and yet, nothing changes. I catch her talking shit about me all the time, and even though I know that she is right out of line, the crap she says still stings. I hate that about myself. I have this extremely annoying tendency to interpret even the slightest shifts in the way a person talks to me or treats me as a gigantic sign that they hate my guts and don’t like me anymore (I know…drama queen much??!). I need to stop doing that – it does nothing but hurt me. I read an article online last week with tips and strategies on how to avoid taking things personally – their advice was to: give people the benefit of the doubt, refocus your attention, remind yourself that you don’t need anyone’s approval, speak up, and stop taking compliments personally, too. I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but…a lot of them just don’t deserve it. Oops. I’m really, really good at refocusing my attention – I’m pretty much able to ignore anything that’s going down if I don’t want to deal with it. I’ve mastered the art of being an ostrich, and sticking my head in the sand…not particularly helpful in the grand scheme of things, but it gets me through the day. 🙂 I try to remind myself all day long that I don’t need anyone’s approval and that I am queen of my own world, yet I’m still like a parched puppy lapping water whenever somebody says something nice to me. I don’t know if I didn’t receive much for positive reinforcement when I was a child or what (isn’t that funny? Me, who has a nearly flawless memory and remembers every single word that has ever been uttered to me ever can’t really recall many compliments I received as a child. Hmm…I think we may be on to something here, friends!). I’m usually pretty good at speaking up for myself, although because I am Canadian, I tend to do it in the most polite way that you’ve ever heard, and I will also take A LOT of shit from people before I say anything – I don’t like to rock the boat, and I don’t want anyone to hate me, so…there’s that. The final piece of advice is the most confusing to me, though – aren’t compliments a good thing? The author cautions against basing your self-worth on the opinions and validation of others, and I guess I can kind of get that. We DO need to determine our own value, and we need to find that within ourselves – I wonder why that’s so hard to do? I had coffee yesterday with my boss – I can’t even begin to tell you what this woman means to me…she has been an excellent friend to me during the time we’ve worked together, she has treated me with more kindness and respect than I have EVER been shown in the workplace, and she is the first woman that I have worked with in a supervisory role that hasn’t been an absolute and utter bitch. She is AWESOME!! 🙂 My last female boss was the spawn of Satan, so I do believe that this one was given to me to restore my faith in humanity and the sisterhood – she’s amazing! We were talking yesterday after a training session about how hard we tend to be on ourselves, and why it is that we say some of the horrible shit that we say about ourselves. We agreed that when we say rotten stuff about ourselves we feel that it won’t hurt as much when somebody else says it…but, now that I think about it, I don’t know how true that really is. I think that we all need to say nice things about ourselves, we need to be kinder to our beautiful bodies/minds/souls, and by doing that, maybe we as a society will be kinder and gentler towards each other…and then maybe my Muppet won’t come home crying anymore because somebody thought her beautiful dollie was creepy. Little jerks.